Are you happy?
Well, I come to take a couple of drinks and suddenly I feel the need to write "never happened? This is a strange hour, and spend four in the morning and after a long talk about nothing special so I thought this story ... jejejeje cruel, maybe one day appear around like "a dark and twisted version of the vision of the common man" fuck, it sounded like what the Joker would jajajajajaja, well maybe turn it into a fic, but maybe not while I leave for you to read. was
am and to the monotonous sound of the refrigerator, warm purrs and strong, the department is pequeñoy the device used to cool your food heated strongly kitchen a few weeks ago would have appreciated it at night in rain and lonely but not today, today you compañíay the smell of sweat makes the atmosphere makes you even more heavy, that's when another sound fills the small apartment, from the beginning is rhythmic slap, slap, slap, not stopped ringing, and you can not even pretend to enjoy.
is the only thing you do every day baby, pretend, pretend a smile when morning attend to dirty old men you order their breakfast and stare at her ass, finger in the afternoons when you act and try to make the best impression to a group of directors who are always looking for the best, and she is not you, whether acting in a comedy or a tragedy is always the same phrase "I call" pretend when you talk with your pseudo-friends that you know talk about you behind your back, always criticizing different but envying at the bottom of it, and at the end of the day, you look in the mirror and hope in the darkest corners of your room, as scorpion crawls to them that your life hiding behind a smile is what gives it meaning.
is why you can not end and prefer to keep pretending to be another one to take charge of your life, follow the patter, plop, plop, plop, and while this happens go back to escape reality, and as no I like to think in the future remember the past, when playing with dolls with your sister in the backyard, when the municipal pool to swim and swim like you, when you saw the cartoons and you laughed with Bugs Bonny and feel like an eternity has passed since those days are gone so when you go back and shouts over one hundred years old, you shrink the heart and respiration stutters. And you know
lost ..
The truth is that little matter where you are looking for, you can not find where you went wrong is that when you left home it appeared successful, young, pretty, with a natural talent for acting, all said that when you return to see would be in a soap opera, everyone saw, nobody will perdíay you wanted to be known, do not settle for being the prettiest of your people, you went to great city, but then was but failure after failure, even seemed natural to follow your path, is that perhaps everything was predestined? Why can not know where we lose our way, have done exactly everything you said in the beginning, started studying drama but I felt this insect in place, all talking about theater, Sartre and Shakespeare, Moliere and Goethe, Le Normand and Sophocles, you did not know it was surrealism and existentialism, absurdísimo never heard of, much less participated in anything but a Christmas, your whole culture is based on soap operas, and your knowledge were at most the difference between Avon and Jafra How did you expect to fit on that site?
And money became scarce, at first started to miss the classes in the mornings, then it was when you started to wear the same clothes twice a month, visits to the stores ran low, sold your TV, you sold your microwave, you changed your department, then another even more dirty little that had not happen like that! It is assumed that a producer handsome leather jacket fall in love with you and become a TV star! So why not come? And your fellow students why these women preferred to go with berets and dark clothing to listen boring music and nonsense poems? You wanted to dance and have fun, not sit and talk about the philosophers before Socrates "and that nobody speaks? In your town were the queen, all you spoke, were ignored here, you did not have that work hard! Why do the ugly, which do not have a boyfriend, this could not be true, it should be assumed that and when you could not but left the school.
But just could not go home, I had told everyone that he now had a big apartment and would soon go on television could not return defeated by the big city, so you kept introducing yourself in the events, and always the same answer.
And the sound of your room does not abandon its rhythmic plop ... plop ... plop
then? Do not even know what that is with thee. That's why you stopped walking. What do you say when there is nothing more to say? You want somebody that you care, to protect you and fill you with pampering, but instead you get a jerk for which there are more than a container of semen.
And when you start to notice it starts to increase the pace and strength, hurts, is too heavy for you, and you feel that you look bug-eyed sadism how to achieve orgasm with double-barreled shotgun gunning in the face? It leaves you and only you feel the warm liquid on your breasts, she likes cum there, and you just groan his name hoping that you note, while the stifles a moan what happens next? It just takes you off quickly, as if your touch was corrosive, are you happy? Are you happy with your new life?
The answer should be yes then why do not you feel it? Aaahhh true, the eternal routine that she removed all the magic you expect to your sex life, no passion, no love, just the same act over and over again, for this you all an expert, he arrives and you receive it with open legs, and then everything else, no kisses, no touching and nice words, but that does not matter, you do not like being alone, well that's only temporary, soon a producer of sunglasses and leather jacket fall in love with you and take you to New York, Paris and Tokyo as you star of the novel back nine. While only these nightly visits here waiting for your boyfriend, lasting the same thing in the morning and leave you burning in the crotch that you never do it gently. at the moment you enough not to be alone.
the meantime you see dressed, runs every muscle in his body, his legs, his chest, his arms, his penis Why can not meet his eyes? Is it to not hurt yourself? You see it heading for the door between darkness and you dare to ask.
- Do you want to see you tomorrow for lunch?
- mmmmmmm
's all you can get from him, every time is less communicative, but that does not discourage you, offends you that you deserve a little more attention, but did not say anything for fear of starting a fight. You're faking a smile
new cover your nakedness with old sheets, you feel like semen on your chest sticks to sweat on the sheets, but no attention and hope that either, and expect something of it, thank you, a touch, a smile or least one eye but only answers:
- See you later.
- Stay another time.
- It's late, I have to go with my wife - the only thing that reaches to murmur.
and simply directs his steps to the door, and not re-look at you, you no longer pay any attention, and he came in you why bother? No goodbye kiss, there is a "mon cherie je taime" not a compliment or a promise even a reproach, a glance of compassion, unless we require you prepare dinner, nothing.
And when you hear the sound of the door and steps away down the hall feel like a huge weight fell on you and overwhelms you more than you and them, and throw a shoe at the mirror because you're afraid to look and add more years to your soul and your eyes and feel guilt, you look like nothing, not worth enough to leave his wife for you and let you feel anger for use in this way, and finally, when you disgust subsided quietly crying on your pillow.
feel moisture on your face, sliding down to your hands and how they end in your sheets, mixing even more with all other fluids in them. Looking at the ceiling cracked, not rain today, there are leaks that fall, not water, are your tears, the ones that make you company for some time now, the only ones that do not abandoned.
And that's when you accept that you cry and scream and break and hit everything in your room, you tear your Virgin of Guadalupe and you tear your candles, you break your hooks and pieces your fashion magazines, and these are what more hate and destroy the smaller pieces you can, because that you are to others, an erotic magazine, which asks anything to anyone, beautiful and just flicking through to get what they want and nothing else, then hide in the bathroom under the bed.
is why sales in the morning with swollen eyes and frog both mourn, small veins burst and now they are blood red like passion in your life there, walk slowly down to the cafeteria, you come and put your old revealing attire for green can imagine all you want with you, you get to the dirty kitchen and pick up orders of eggs and chips, and they put up with their abuses over and over You see, while you're still dreaming to get on TV.
And then appears to her, the other, but it is not the other, you're the other, and they have to meet and watch the kisses and caresses and smile, is the ultimate humiliation have to serve it, all you want is to leave you there, return to your apartment and sleep, go back to that fantastic dream where a television agent loves you, you use beautiful gowns and travel the world to return to your luxury home in Miami-
And you feel the eyes on your back, it hurts, disdain and lewdness, and instead of answering only in the kitchen you run away like a rat.
You're not nothing, just a small town girl who aspired too fired high and too far, you're just a pornographic magazine, the men look and use in secret and furtive glances and then hide or throw away, because they are embarrassed that their mothers or wives see, so you only buy when they win, they do not say no, that gives them everything without asking anything in return, which does not claim, which has no rights.
Now you realize the reality?
Do you see that everything is not always wanted?
And you scream and cry and rend the soul that are only for others, for all, and this is how you got to look at yourself, because only eso eres, te sacan, te emplean y te gozan y tu solo los complaces.
Entonces un grupo de viejos, son cuatro, mínimo tendrán sus sesenta años, sudorosos, peludos, calvos, panzones y con dentaduras postizas te dicen que necesitas un hombre en tu vida y que bien pueden ser ellos, y tu les dices que tu turno termina en media hora y te esperen a la salida, y te vas con ellos y llegan a un motel, y te desnudas para ellos, bailas para ellos, lames sus vergas y bebes su semen para ellos, te cogen por delante y por detrás y tu no te quejas, te llaman zorra y puta y perra y sucia golfa y tu solo asientes y te dejas hacer lo que sea por ellos y cuando están saciados te dejan ahí, take your clothes as a trophy and you just looking at the ceiling and you look in the mirror, but see nothing.
Are you happy now?
Well that's it, what do you think? Sorry for the spelling, but I Striving in that no more of it, try to improve.
onward to victory. Health and rebellion
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